It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.
- Frederick Douglass |
*To write, is to feel. No matter what you’re composing you will always be connected to the piece. As I visited my past and shared something I can barely talk about moved me. I started remembering, envisioning, dreaming. I actually became emotional trying to find the deepest words to explain the feelings. Momentarily, I felt like I was digging and there was nothing to be dug up. Then, it all started pouring out of me. Like I’ve been waiting to tell someone how bad it hurt. I never knew writing could impact you so much. Just like I didn’t know a decision could either.*
Write a 50-word introduction that provides the focus of the blog post In this post, I will be recreating a scene from The Yellow Wall-Paper (Charlotte Perkins Stetson) using my own ideas/creativity and attempting to convey the pain she’s in. Also, stepping out of my comfort zone to talk about a time I was negatively affected by someone’s decision. To revisit the scene, after I haven’t in years and try to compose a piece strong enough to convey how hard it affected me. Write a 250-word scene that rewrites the action in The Yellow Wall-Paper (Charlotte Perkins Stetson). Within these walls, I am trapped, Isolated and alone. I remain inside this yellow room hoping for my nervousness to stop controlling me. John says it’s best for my health and well-being to stay in a small, ugly room with little activity or interaction. Mostly, I lie in bed, look out the windows, think, and write if possible. My opinion never matters, nor do my thoughts or feelings. They make me feel so powerless, depressed and angry. John always says “it’s for your own good darling, the feelings it brings you is natural”. Personally, I think feelings that make you think living is unbearable is unnatural. John is always right but, I started to think what if he wasn’t? That this wasn’t for my own good. I close my eyes and envision where I’d rather be, who I’d rather be, and how I want to be treated. All I know is being so alone and empty is deteriorating and it’s time for me to leave. If I told john I wanted to go he wouldn’t let me, so I have to escape if I want to find myself again. I began to knot blankets together creating a stable source to hang from my window and connect it to the house. After praying, I wrote the hardest goodbye note of my life, and slid down the homemade ladder with 1 bag of belongings. When my feet hit the floor, the outdoor sensations made me feel so alive. I decided to run and never look back, at least not for a long time. Write a 250-word scene that shows the reader a moment when a you or someone close to you made a decision that had a negative impact on your life. I find it hard to talk about anything that negatively impacted my life. I’ve contributed, and so have others but, some hurt more than the rest. At least when you do things yourself you’re in control. A significant time in my life that someone’s decision negatively affected me was 5 years ago. For my whole life, my parents always loved each other and had a tolerable relationship until this time. My family was miserable and falling apart due to a traumatic event. My mother had so much weight on her shoulders that she didn’t want to let go of. As my parents destroyed each other and their love the pressures tortured her. Marriage isn’t just love and commitment but you’re also joined in various ways. For example, income and housing that only my mother contributed to. We’ve always lived in the same house since I was born and planned to stay there forever. I loved my childhood home, the memories, neighbors, and environment. At the time, my father was incarcerated and nobody was allowed to have contact with him due to PFA’s. He wasn’t in the picture, so my mother was the one who had to make the decision for us all. One event had changed all of our lives forever and raised issues that were never planned for. My mother was severely suffering and couldn’t bare to live in our childhood home anymore. The nightmares, paranoia, anxiety, and depression were eating her alive. She made the decision we were to move out and stop fighting for everything she’s built. My heart felt so heavy to see my mother weak, a kind I could barely even recognize. It was the greatest pain to watch everything that’s ever been important to you almost vanish completely. I would always think “when it rains, it pours” and it was always pouring. After attempting to adjust to all the changes and pack it just seemed to get harder. My mother sits my siblings and I down, and tells us the government will be taking our house and we need to leave sooner. I had even less time to say goodbye and bring all the things I could. I have never felt so lost and confused in my life. Not only did I lose my family structure, but my childhood home I’ve created every memory in. But, I had to be strong and move along to the next house. This one was a temporary home. It was beautiful, until we got a notice the home is being sold and we need to move out immediately. My mother was trying her best to keep us together and stay strong through the storm. We decided we’d move in with my grandma to finally have a home! My mother had to make those hard decisions because she needed to and it was best for herself and her children. At the time our family couldn’t catch a break but she was always there to catch us.
4 Comments
9/30/2018 03:28:18 pm
Thank you for sharing like you I find it hard to talk about the stuff that impacted my life , your experiences with your family I can relate too 100%.
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coleman
10/1/2018 08:20:08 am
i was blown away with how hard this could have been for you but somehow you were able to capture that feeling into your writing.
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Seth
10/1/2018 07:16:31 pm
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NickD'Aversa
10/8/2018 01:23:59 pm
I think it's great that you're sharing about such a personal and hard time in your life. Your mom sounds like an amazing person to be able to take all that hardship for you guys.
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AuthorMy name is Alexandra Ross and I will be posting all of my assignments on this page. Please feel free to comment and ask questions! Archives
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